Go In Peace…But For Christ’s Sake- Just Go!

Is this even possible?!

I don’t mean to be irreverent in my title. Hear me out before you call me out.

There’s a theme in my in-box lately from followers and friends. Seems we’re stuck in a rut of one kind or another, girlfriends. I’m not pointing fingers – I’m speaking to myself here too!

I’m no theologian and I’m definitely no preacher, but I can’t help stepping up to the pulpit to try and shed some divine light on the subject.

There are countless stories in the bible of the afflicted seeking to be healed. They spend years, if not a lifetime, crippled, bleeding, blind and diseased. Predictably waking every morning in a state of despair, wishing for relief; only to start another day in the same old exhausting routine.

Until one day healing comes – in an instant! Because they asked? Because the timing was right? Because they believed? Maybe all of the above. I don’t know. But it happened.

I really wonder about the rest of the story. We know these individuals were transformed, but did some of them have an “adjustment” period to realize they had been changed completely, forever?

Jesus didn’t say to the woman who touched his hem, “Come with me, Sister! Grab your dope shoes and let’s parade around the commons!”

No. He said “Go in peace, you are healed of your affliction”. There was no dancing, no singing; no shouting from the rooftops.

He didn’t say to the blind man “Feast your eyes on every little thing of beauty – place yourself in front of it and shout to all your friends “LOOK AT ME”!” (That would be the ancient form of a selfie in case you’re wondering…)

No. He said “Go, wash in the pool….” He sent him on his way without fanfare.

Even in the cases when intercessors brought a loved one for healing (and that’s a whole other Oprah), Jesus was immediate in his response. He didn’t say to the crippled man who was lowered on a cot through the roof by his buddies, “Take your home boys by the honkey-tonk and buy ‘em a round! You can dance now, big guy!”

No. He said “pick up your mat and Go”. There was no need for excessive celebration.

I can’t help but wonder what was going through the minds of these people. Is it possible for the next several days they were in a mini state of shock? Did they wake up for the next several mornings in that same old state of mind until their new reality came into focus? Is it possible that waking with a weary soul was a hard habit to break?

Do WE sometimes fall victim to habitual thinking? It can be hard to recognize that growth and healing progress every day. It seems when we’re heavy hearted the music we listen to (even Christian music with a message of hope!), the readings we dive into for encouragement or the tears we shed over a bowl of ice cream are necessary for a while….BUT…eventually, ALL of this serves to hold us back from our intended healing because it tricks us into believing we’re still SAD!

It’s important to understand that our hearts can, finally, change in an instant. The moment may come without flourish. There will likely be no parade, no sound of trumpets, no fireworks or dazzling star displays.

Perhaps one day, we just hear that still small voice saying, “Go. It’s time to move forward”.

Healing moments should never be lost simply because they aren’t as dramatic as the moments that wound us.

If you’ve been an emotional hostage so long you haven’t even noticed the cell door is rusted off its hinges, it’s time to knock it down and walk away. And Go In Peace.

Can I hear an “AMEN!”?

My Mom’s da Bomb

Me, My Mother, Her Mother, Her Mother and Her Mother
Me, My Mother, Her Mother, Her Mother and Her Mother

Thank you for bringing me into existence– yeah…that’s a gimme.

•Thank you for making me feel safe

As an adult, I realize that not every child is certain of the basic hierarchy of needs the way I was.
I would have willingly boxed up every “gross, disgusting” pea in the surrounding counties to send to the starving children in Africa – unaware there may have been some hungry children in our own neighborhood.
I didn’t know how to then, but I have learned to appreciate my blessings.

Thank you for showing me the difference between skipping down the sidewalk and chasing a ball into traffic

There’s a fine line between living on the edge of adventure; and walking full on into danger. I learned there’s an even finer line between “running full throttle” after what’s important and “chasing” what’s better off rolling into the gutter.

Thank you for teaching me how to clean a bathroom, wash dishes, mow the lawn, and make my favorite food from scratch

I learned the necessity of basic life skills. I need to care for myself and others responsibly, but more importantly, I should treat myself sometimes! I learned that I should never wait for someone else to provide what makes me happy. If that means I need to make my own spaghetti sauce and savor every bite, damn it, I can do it!

Thank you for setting rules – and allowing a few to be broken

I appreciate that I have learned self-discipline when I need it. But I also love the spontaneity of pushing a few limits every once in a while. Some rules are hard core. Don’t even ask. But sometimes, a break from routine lifts our spirits in ways that are easy and innocent. I learned to give myself permission to color outside the lines. And for that I will forever be grateful.

Thank you for not squashing my style

Even when you were 100% sure I would be horrified to see myself in pictures one day.  I’ve learned that styles change, but images caught on film DO NOT! I only wish leg warmers, perms and eye glasses the size of small turkey platters were considered “inappropriate” at the time. But…I have learned to laugh at myself.

Thank you for biting your tongue when my choices were questionable

If it didn’t involve physical danger, you let me learn by trial and error. I learned humility along the way.

Thank you for always believing in me

Mother’s build us up and state what’s obvious (to them anyway). You told me I was awesome. That I am perfectly and wonderfully made; that I was blessed with countless amazing qualities and talents, and that I could do anything I set my mind to. The world was – and still is – full of opportunities to make me think otherwise, but I learned to believe in myself and like myself… because you did.

And that couldn’t have been easy at times, considering how I undoubtedly, but unknowingly, tore you down. Which leads me to say…

Thank you for never taking my words or behavior personally during my teenage years and thank you for never holding them against me

I know deep down, you would have done anything to take my hurt away as I maneuvered through puberty, heartbreaks, self- discovery and life lessons – both good and bad. Teens are selfish, cruel creatures by nature – we all know it’s just a right of passage.

I’m fairly certain every mother has to remind herself that she is a good person. That she truly is kind despite the thoughts driving through her mind as her “baby” slams the door in her face. That she really is a beautiful soul when her child is humiliated as she dances… or sings… or laughs…or breathes. That she is competent, even when her teen rolls his/her eyes implying quite the opposite.

Being a mother to a teenager can wreak havoc on a woman’s self -esteem.

Perhaps that’s one of the most overlooked lessons our mothers model for us during those years. In hindsight, we learned from your grace that we shall not be defined by how others perceive us. When someone views us negatively, it’s likely their perception is clouded in ways we don’t fully understand. Damn those hormones!

Thank you for being consistent in who you were as a parent and as a person

I heard you say a bad word ONCE. The word – and I quote you – “the most vulgar curse word ever”, – spilled from your mouth when I came home an hour after curfew one weekend. I was mad (that you were still awake!) shocked at your choice of vocabulary, impressed that you were hip enough to let that F bomb fly – and trying so hard not to snicker all at the same time.

For all I know, you might have cursed like a sailor when I wasn’t around; but I doubt it. I was never frustrated or resentful thinking others knew a much different person than I did.

Because, hey, just as I thought my teacher lived at school, I thought you lived only to buy the groceries, fold the clothes, keep toilet paper on the roll, sing lullaby’s and wipe my runny nose.

Until I matured and learned that you are not only a mother, you are a woman. It’s been a joy discovering over the years what makes you tick.

Before moms become moms, we are girls. Girls who still giggle and want to feel pretty and want to belong. Girls who still cry out of anger and confusion. Girls who might still occasionally like to stare at the stars and howl at the moon.

In other moments we are women. Women who shed tears of gratitude and joy. Women with a wicked sense of humor and the strength that builds the next generation. Women who sometimes drive too fast, laugh too loud and love too much.

Some of us go on to become mothers. Most of us always need our mothers. But let’s all thank our mothers- and thank their mothers and their mothers’ mother – just for being so mother f#@*in’ awesome.

Happy Mother’s Day Momma!

look momma!

The Bird and The Swine

 bird has no need for rainboots

Nothing says JOY like the ritual of a fresh beginning. This time of year brings a flurry of bridal showers, graduation ceremonies, family reunions, weddings, baby showers, SCREEEEEEECH…..Did I just say joy?  I was really thinking crap.

Because nothing screams dysfunction like inviting ghosts from seasons past to the same party.

No matter what the history is with your college roommate the prude, ex-husband the jerk, or cousin Meg the know it all; remember this is a season for all things new. Obviously, you can’t change others but the new can be YOU!

It’s the largest swine that can’t lift themselves out of the mud, so refuse to wallow in it with them. This can be a season for slush, muck and a heavy layering of proverbial $h*#.

When you see it’s getting deep…ascend, my friend.

And Happy Spring!

Easy Conversation over Eggs Over Easy

23 View of the World
A WordyBird Design Original

I’m a firm believer there’s no such thing as coincidence. Things happen for a reason!

At breakfast this morning, my friend and I said a friendly good morning to the cook who delivered our food thinking he would give a simple cordial reply. It isn’t often that conversations are started with complete strangers bringing you eggs over easy and rye toast, so his response was almost unexpected. He said he was gearing up for his busy day working hard at two jobs. He offered almost in passing that he was writing a book and working hard to bring his dream of becoming a published author to life.

Writing? Author? Published? Well…this immediately started a conversation about our common goals and interests. After delivering another table their blueberry pancakes, he actually sat down with us and beautifully articulated his vision to inspire youth through his stories about overcoming obstacles and choices. OMG! He inspired us, why wouldn’t he inspire youth? My friend and I were able to brainstorm with this ambitious young man and provided him with ideas that clearly ignited his energy.  That’s when you know you’re on the right path.

When your eyes catch sight of your dream, the light reflected is brilliant.

We exchanged information and sincerely mean to stay connected in some way. Even if our meeting doesn’t ultimately change the direction of any one of our lives, it definitely changed our day. And isn’t that what CAN set the course for the next day and the day after that?

Open your eyes and ears to who steps into your path when you least expect it, my friends. It may not be a coincidence!

 

 

 

Confessions of An Adult Tweenager

birthday moon

Full Moon over the Rocky Mountains November 2014

There was a full moon on my last birthday. A big beautiful glowing pink moon over the Colorado Mountains. I’m NOT a morning person, but something compelled me to barrel out of bed before dawn and catch the sunrise. Couldn’t say why. I just did.

I was ambivalent about this birthday as it’s one away from that number I’m not entirely comfortable with. An age that seemed absolutely ancient when I was in my 20’s; but then again when I was in my 20’s, 38 seemed pretty old too. That thought made me laugh hysterically until tears flowed from my eyes. Then the tears turned into “WTF! When did I get to be this age!?”

I’m too old to party into wee hours of the night. I can’t go to bed without washing my face and lathering on the moisturizer to keep the crowsfeet in check. I can’t wear those sexy little outfits that indicate I’m a carefree spirit; a girl who believes her body will be this firm forever, and believes life is full of possibility and “it’s complicated” is a way of life.

I’m too young to be in bed by 8:00 watching Family Feud. I can’t go to bed without washing my face with an expensive salicylic acid cleanser to keep my zits at bay …followed by the expensive wrinkle serum…..what the…..whatever.   I’m too young to wear knit pants with a matching sweater set and comfortable shoes. I’m not quite yet the woman who is a lover of all things uncomplicated because she knows life is too short for ridiculous drama.

Mature women speak of a time when the phrase “I am who I am, and you can take me or leave me”, becomes crystal clear. I can’t wait to get there because these years of transition are confusing me.  I’m not sure I truly know who I am….

But on that birthday morning, as I sat watching the sun rise on a brand new day on one side of me, and the full moon high and majestic on the other, I realized God was showing me the wonder of being right smack dab in the middle. That the only difference between the beauty of youth and the beauty of age is relatively subtle.

It’s a matter of perspective. And that, my friend, is what they call the beauty of wisdom.

Note* My birthday is in November and I’ve been sitting on this writing for weeks now. I want to give a shout out to one of my favorite bloggers who inspires and entertains me daily. One of her recent topics is not so coincidentally similar, after all, great minds think alike!! She does it much, much better though.

Check out her post at:

http://www.theobserversvoice.com/2015/01/perky-tits-and-neck-waddle-youth-aging-and-not-giving-a-fck/#comment-23491

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

new year

My wish for you in this coming year is that you won’t overwhelm yourself with a resolution that smacks of “should”.  I encourage you to choose one WORD that can be your guide. Perhaps the word has already chosen you!

Let this word full of concept influence your decisions, your responses, your outlook, your mood and your plan for 2015.

That is all.

Peace,

Kim

I Wish You Pizza

others good fortune

I called my teenaged son home for dinner from the neighbor’s house. As he walked out the door, his friend’s four year old brother intercepted him at the door.

“Where are you going, Connor?” he asked.

“It’s time for dinner, buddy”

“What are you having?”

“I’m not sure,”

“Oh…I HOPE you have pizza…” said the four year old boy dancing with excitement as he waved goodbye.

I love that.  Let’s find joy anticipating the good fortune of others.

Here’s hoping you ALL have pizza!

Packing Faith in the Suitcase

A WordyBird Original
A WordyBird Original

Is it time to let a few things go?  An unrealistic expectation, a death grip attachment to an outcome or a stubborn agenda?

Always know your general destination, but give up the wheel for awhile and trust that there is beauty in the back roads that lead you there.

Relax, my friend. Take your nose out of the map…and start enjoying the scenery.

Much love,